How to beat the cyberbullies
Tuesday 7 February marks Safer Internet Day 2012, to coincide bullying prevention charity Beatbullying have published an in-depth study of the state of cyberbullying amongst children, young people and teachers in the UK.
Popular personalities such as Cher Lloyd and Jodie Marsh have hit the headlines recently after bravely coming forward to share their stories. What's more a hard-hitting Panorama documentary shown last night on the BBC, shone new light on the twenty-first century bullying culture and looked closely at the findings of the new study.
Video: Pop singer Cher Lloyd tells Panorama's Declan Lawn about how her rise from anonymous teenager to national fame as a contestant on the X-Factor came with a darker side.
Key findings of the report
- 20% of children and young people indicated that fear of cyberbullies made them reluctant to go to school.
- One in five (19%) reported they experienced reduced confidence and self-esteem.
- 14% live in fear of their safety.
- 5% resort to self-harm and 3% report an attempt of suicide as a direct result of cyberbullying.
AP Photo, Kathleen Malone-Van Dyke
Catherine Devine once suffered at the hands of spineless cyberbullies.
What is cyberbullying?
Unfortunately, bullying is nothing new. But for young people growing up in a digital world, cyberbullying is on the rise.
Cyberbullying is when someone uses digital means like the internet (say, email or social networking sites) or a mobile phone to deliberately harass, threaten or humiliate someone else.
Cyberbullying allows the perpetrator to harass their victim even when they're not in the same physical space. While someone might escape normal bullying by walking away, cyberbullying allows the bully to hound their victim wherever they go. It is a sad reality that if left unchecked this form of mental abuse can result in tragedy.
What does a cyberbully do?
Cyberbullies are cowardly creatures and hide behind their computers to inflict misery on others. Their bullying tactics include (but are not limited to):
- Sending nasty or threatening texts or emails
- Posting abusive messages online - on a social networking site, in a chat room, or using instant messaging (eg. Windows Live Messenger)
- Posting humiliating videos or pictures online, or sending them to other people
- Assuming someone else's identity online in order to upset them
- Setting up a hate site or a hate group on a social network site
- Prank calling, prank texts and messages
Children shouldn't feel frightened and alone. There are ways to help.
What can kids do?
Visit CyberMentors.org.uk. There is always someone available to provide advice and help. There are even fully trained, accredited counsellors at hand to deal with more serious issues.
If you're being bullied, the most important thing is to talk to someone.
As well as friends, parents or carers, there are loads of people who can help, such as ChildLine on 0800 1111, a teacher or other trusted adult.
- Don't retaliate or reply in anger - bullies are looking for a reaction and will soon get bored if they don't get what they want.
- Block the bully's texts, messages and emails using the settings on your phone, social networking profile and email account.
- Adjust social networking privacy settings to high and keep them there.
- Keep the evidence - learn how to keep records of offending messages, pictures or online conversations.
- Protect your online accounts and keep passwords to yourself. Only give your mobile number to trusted friends.
What can parents do?
- Talk to your children and understand the ways in which they are using the internet and their mobile phone. Make sure they know how to use this technology safely and responsibly.
- Be aware that your child is as likely to be an unwitting accessory to cyberbullying as the actual target - by forwarding on emails, videos and images.
If you suspect that your child, or another child in your care, is being bullied:
- Assure them they are not to blame and remind them not to retaliate.
- Help them use the safety features on their phone, email account and on websites to block upsetting messages.
- Ensure that privacy settings are set to high to stop unwanted contact.
- Tell them to keep evidence of offending emails, text messages or online conversations.
- Contact the child's school if the cyberbullying involves another pupil so they can take appropriate action.
- If the cyberbullying is serious and a criminal offence may have been committed, consider contacting the police.
- Contact ParentLine Plus on 0808 800 2222 if you want to talk to someone about it.
How much do you know about internet safety?
The organisers of Safer Internet Day 2012 (the UK Safer Internet Centre) have launched a free, online quiz.
The quiz covers safety issues related to social networks, online entertainment, internet-gaming and mobiles - and awards users with an Internet Safety IQ score. Take the Internet Safety IQ test.
Children's Minister Tim Loughton said: "Safer Internet Day is a great opportunity to remind children and parents about the help and support on offer to keep children safe online. The internet is a brilliant education tool but technology is constantly changing so there is an ongoing need to inform parents and children about the potential risks in the online world.
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Why do people let themselves be bullied.
Bullies are insecure cowards. Stand up to them from the very first time they try to bully you.
Parents need to keep a much closer eye on their kids on line.
There is no excuse for letting kids go unsupervised on social networking sites then bleating when it all goes horribly wrong.
If your child says they need privacy and won't let you see what they're doing then that's exactly the time you need to see what's going on.
Use every available tool for privacy etc.
Show your kids you care by protecting them.
These are frightening statistics 20% of people report being bullied in one way or another, and most of this bullying is carried out by young people. what kind of children are we raising? i have witnessed children as young as 8 or 9, out at 10 oclock at night making peoples lives a missery.
if you approach theese thugs you yourself then become their targets. Their parents are obviously not interested in what their kids are up to, so why not vote for it to be law that parents are accountable for their childrens actions? If this was the case perhaps the parenting skills of these people would be improved and desent people would be able to go out and about their buisness without fear of abuse or attack.
There is no such thing as cyber bullying. Those who claim it are already dependant on the internet to seek attention to themselves and usually the first to throw shlt at others and when they don't like what somebody has posted they distort it to draw even more attention to themselves. It's pixels. Get over it!
I've no interest in Cher Llyod, or any other celebrity for that matter, but hate sells, it's big business in modern media. These words are effective regardless as to how there delivered. People communicate on the internet all the time, they fall in love, meet and eventually have children and families of their own. It's the modern way.
Hateful statements made for all too see are deeply unpleasant, and are left in a cowardly way by bullies for kicks in order to satisfy their own weakness.
Why such a limited and cynical view of the world? No one is expecting you to like, embrace or understand modern technology, The majority of children use the internet every day in schools up and down the country, and in some respects it has become an almost primary form of communication. I don't mean to sound unkind, but simply trivializing the technology in an effort to pretend there's no problem is plainly stupid.
Cher is so beautifull, these people hate beauty because they can see what they are lacking, that being an inner and an outer beauty, it manifests a savere envy in them, they will all then target the one person if it's what is going around,
that certain someone is to be taunted, belittled and oppressed by all,
as those who would refrain from it fear being the target themselves, and if it is all going onto one person they will keep it in the one place,
the sacrificial lamb so to speak.
Little Hitler's grow up into big Hitler's as in the words of fleetwood mac.
They know exactly how evil they are being,
they dont even feel good about it, they'll just make a show of it to others around them, and so, more will join in.
There is a supernatural element to it, and evil itself rears it's ugly head.
As in Mark :- We do not fight against the natural alone but against forces unseen.
Listen, Children and all you people , you can do no better than to turn to the Bible, and hve the mighty hand of God protect you, and to have his word in your heart,
"I will raise you up a people invinceable", Joshua.
May the lord God mightily defend you.
I watched that programme on cyberbullying, I'm really happy that all this technology wasn't around when I was growing up, no doubt these sad "trolls" would have had a field day. It was enough having so-called friends bullying me from when I hit my teens, unfortunately certain people are sad and jealous (because they don't like what I have, not that I have a lot!). The truth is for anyone who has ever suffered at the hands of any bully, stay close to those you trust that is the only way to stay strong. Bullies are weak people, who thrive on dragging others down. The worse type of bullies I have ever had to deal with are those that were also bullied when they were younger, so when they get into a higher position they bully everyone lower than them.
Just remember if you are bullied:
- you are strong (even if you don't feel it)
- you are everything (to you and your family and genuine friends)
- you are you (don't change who you are for others, be you)
It may be hard but YOU CAN DO IT!
STAY STRONG
BE TRUE TO YOU
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt, 'This Is My Story,' 1937
What is wrong with teaching these anti-bullying techniques in schools? This will kill two birds with one stone. The cyber bully will be infuriated by being exposed and the victim will get direct tips on how to deal with these cowards. All I regret is that these were not around when I was at school. Teachers treated bullying as "character forming". In other words taking the easy way out. It was for them. The bully became more psychotic and those of us that were bullied were left with the mental scars. Nice!
I've said it once and I'll say it again. Martial arts are an excellent bullying cure. Teach it to the victim - the bully will leave him/her alone - as the bully will be afraid of getting a good hiding. In this situation, do not feel sorry for the bully - they have created the hate in their victim.
I used to work in Secondary Education and there were times that I was very shocked at the level of some bullying and also the introduction of cyber-bullying. Bullying in any form is disgusting and needs putting a stop to and people need to be given the tools to open up about what is happening to them and how to deal with it. I might add that this sort of behaviour is not affecting only the young, I myself have been the victim of bullying in the workplace and on facebook by people who I should have been able to trust. It makes you feel totally worthless and if you are in a place of being unable to tell anyone it is a nightmare - 3 years ago I made an attempt on my own life partly due to the pressure from this so I can understand how desperate younger people must feel!
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